07/06/2018 11:32am

Trigger warning ⚠⚠

everything’s really shit, I haven’t updated on here for a while sorry.

basically I’m escaping hospital by a thread atm, outreach are trying to keep me out of hospital but if I continue not taking my meds or if I try anything hospitals where I’m going.

I told my psychiatrist I’m not going to hospital so he said I’d have to go against my will.

he prescribed me quetiapine on Monday, I took them mondays&Tuesday morning but struggled to take them since.

got an appointment today with the psychiatrist and I’m dreading it.

anyway I hope you’re all staying strong 😊❤

Ellie xx

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27/05/18 22:22 pm

sorry I’ve been gone for so long, trigger warning.

everything’s gone to shit, been stashing pills, selfharming everyday and planning suicide.

I don’t know how to escape this cycle of self destruction.

I know I’m gunna OD soon and I’m scared it won’t work and I’ll go back IP.

I just want everything to end.

Ellie xx

29/05/18 21:30pm

been a while;

moods been fluctuating a lot and it’s been getting to me.

eatings up and down, self harm getting quite bad.

trying to get on with recovery but it’s getting hard.

urges to overdose are getting stronger, but I’m trying not to give it too much thought.

hope youre all ok, going to try post on here regularly.

Ellie x

20/04/18 13:10pm

IVE BEEN DISCHARGED 😁🎉

after 4 and a half months of being in hospital, I’ve finally been discharged.

this was my LAST admission!

no more hospital, I’m going to try my very best to stay away from both general and psychiatric hospitals.

I’m finally getting my life on track!!

I’ll have my supported living placement by time im 18 & I’ll hopefully have a job for the summer.

excited to be starting college in September!!

I’m so happy for the first time in 3/4 years.

my meds are finally working & my eatings the best it’s been in ages.

I’m over the moon 🌻🦋🌷

Ellie xxx

18/04/18 19:36pm

no trigger warning 🌻☄✌

so excited to get discharged on the 24th!!!

I’m so happy I’m going home tomorrow and my dad’s buying me ice cream.

I’m taking my little brother to the museum in town on Saturday which is gunna be hard but I’m gunna do it.

hope you’re all ok ✌🍃

Ellie xxx

17/04/18 11:12am

no trigger warning 🙃🦋✌

everything the best it’s been in months!

being discharged next week!! gunna have my supported living placement by time I’m 18, going back to college!

I’m so excited and happy, my meds are working my moods lifting and I don’t hear voices that often anymore.

my eating is up and down but I’m on top of it.

self harm is still an issue but it’s alot better than it was.

everything is good.

Ellie xxx

09/05/18. 20:02

✖ trigger warning ✖

self harmed on leave and i think it’s infected but I’m too scared to tell a nurse.

find out if I get discharged tomorrow and I find out if there’s a plan with camhs too.

I’m so excited self harm isn’t great atm but I’m ok over all managing with suicidal thoughts and food & despite my mood being low I’m coping (a0art from SH which is getting worse because I’m cutting deeper than I normally would but oh well)

hope you’re all well.

Ellie xx

07/04/18. 16:32pm

trigger warning 🌻✖

last few days have been hard, anxiety consumed me yesterday, fw3lt really guilty after tea and I really wanted to self harm.

today I feel a little better but urges to self harm really bad is all I can think about. I feel like each cut I make isn’t good enough and not serious enough to show how much I’m hurting.

anyway apart from self harm urges and food ,I’m ok.

hope you’ve all had a good weekend so far x

Ellie x

05/04/18 21:45pm

no trigger warning 👍😊💖

had a good day, been at my dads work all day, made quorn curry for tea, been drawing all evening listening to conspiracy theories.

also I tried quorn nuggets and they are good!

going to sleep soon, busy day at my sister’s tomorrow.

night,

Ellie x

04/04/18 22:01pm

no trigger warning 👍😊

had my CPA today and it went really well, just need a discharge plan with my outpatient team then I’m out of hospital!!

went for a meal with my family after and it went really well.

today’s been really good I’m looking forward to carrying on with my life.

Ellie x